I've spent this past week consulting my waitressing friends and family members about their most outlandish restaurant stories and these are a few that we've hashed out. I hope you enjoy them as much as we have had experiencing them. With no further ado:
1. The Crisco Fiasco
This one comes from my mother and really me typing it doesn't give it the justice that she could, but since she can't even work an ATM machine... anyways it goes like this:
At a restaurant she worked in 20 years ago they had a glass, refrigerated case where they would put the pies and deserts on display. One of the best selling deserts they made was a pecan ball. For those who have never had this frozen orgasmic treat, it is a ball of vanilla icecream rolled in chopped pecans and drizzled with hotfudge and whipped cream. Pay attention, I said ICECREAM. In order to display a pecan ball in the case the manager made one out of crisco and it looked exactly like the real thing.
So my mother is waiting on this woman. It comes to the end of the meal and my mom asks the woman if she'd like desert, the woman says no. So the next thing you know, out of the corner of her eye my mother catches a glimpse of the woman opening the desert case and selecting the "pecan ball". Sure my mom could have warned the woman that she was choosing a ball of crisco, but what fun would that be? The woman, who was too cheap to order a desert, decided to take it upon herself and steal one from the case. BIG mistake.
After consuming half of said pecan ball the fatass calls my mother to the table and says "um, there's something wrong with your icecream, it tastes spoiled". To my mother's delight she (and I don't know how she kept a straight face) says, "well ma'am that is because you are eating crisco, the case you stole that out of is a refrigerator not a freezer and we have no way of displaying icecream".
Long story short the woman felt like a jackass and my mother got the satisfaction she deserved!
2. My aunt and I used to work together at a family style restaurant similiar to Perkins or Denny's. We had a big fat guy that used to come in and demand extra extra cheese on everything he ate. He was disgusting and rude and all the waitresses HATED him. We nicknamed him Moby Dick.
On said night, Moby Dick ordered a grilled cheese with double cheese. Let me tell you that this restaurant already loaded thier grilled cheeses with 5 slices to begin with. My aunt tells the cook to make sure she puts double the amount of cheese on Moby Dick's sandwich. This is now 10 slices of American cheese between 2 slices of white bread mind you, enough cheese to constipate a horse.
Fatass Moby Dick is unsatisfied with the amount of dairy product, of course and demands more. Ok, my aunt takes it back and now the cook is pissed. She is one to not hold back so in her infinate wisdom she decides she will give this guy the largest amount of cheese she can find. When my aunt is paged to the kitchen for her order I am standing there laughing my ass off. In the pick up window is a block of cheese in between two slices of bread. Like the whole block, like in the deli! My aunt is so hysterical (she actually peed her pants!) she can't even serve Moby Dick. I taking after my mother can definately pull this stunt off.
You should have seen the look on Moby's face!
Moby Dick never did ask for extra extra anything, and a few years later when he passed away, us waitresses danced around the kitchen singing, Ding dong the dick is dead!
There are tons more stories like these but this post is getting way too long so I'll give you some more in the days to come. Please tell me some of your work stories, they don't have to be restaurant stories, anything to get even or laugh about will work!