Thursday, November 25, 2010

I REFUSE to let myself get all fat and squishy

So as you all know I recently changed careers. I was a skinny little waitress for 20 years and now that I sit at a desk for 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week, let's just say the weight has caught up with me. I'm no porko, but seriously my jeans are a little too snug for my liking. Plus now that I can't bank on making $400 in CASH this week, who can afford a new wardrobe? Certainly not me.

I work for a health insurance company and they offer all kinds of discounts and reward programs for "living a healthy lifestyle". Ok so I'm not stupid...their um discounts include making everyone succumb to these awful, embarrasing tests. I was cool with the blood work, checking my cholesterol and triglycerides but when the nurse pulled out a measuring tape, I got a little uncomfortable. "What's that for" I asked. The nurse kinda chuckled and explained that my company, who's looking out for my best interest (actually they're looking for the loophole to legally charge overweight/obese people more for their insurance benefits) would like to know my waist measurements. What can you do?

So anyways, I've "passed" 3 of the 5 required tests so that my premium won't increase by $600 this year, just $300 because I'm godforbid a smoker. Legal discrimination is what I call it.

I decided to take some action on my ever increasing waistband...I joined a gym. Gasp! I've never had to work out ever before in my life. Work used to be a workout for me. I used to punch in and run my ass off for 8 or so hours. Now, I sit. And I sit. And then I sit some more. So I did it, I actually got out of my comfort zone and admitted to another human (atleast I think he was human, his muscles were popping out all over the place, he actually looked a bit fake to me) that I am unhappy with my body and I'd like to do something about it.

God, what the hell did I get myself into? I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing in this place. I don't have my official "assessment" till tomorrow but I figured this morning that I could just go to said gym and start Thanksgiving off on a healthy note. So I walk in and go up to one of the treadmills. I don't know what all those buttons are for or what they do, I just starting pressing them and off I went. I'm walking somewhere close to snail speed and the woman next to me is running on this thing like the fucking cops are chasing her! I swear I felt like the biggest loser there ever was. It will get better...I hope anyway. I'm gonna do it, I'll stick with it and maybe someday I'll be runnin from the cops on a treadmill too!