Night from HELL!

What is it with people? When you come into a restaurant do all your manners, tact, and smarts just go out the door? Tonight was asshole night at the restaurant! Is it a full moon or are my fellow pittsburghers freaked out about the G20 and taking it out on me the lowly waitress or what? First table of the night was great but it was all down hill from there. My second table informed me that they had already eaten and weren't hungry they just wanted to have a meeting, get the fuck outta here does this look like a conference room to you? No it is not appropriate to go into a restaurant in the middle of dinner time and order one cup of soup and 1 piece of garlic bread. Oh this is classic, the guy asked me if we had any sweet rolls, am I wearing a Perkins uniform asshole, do you see fresh baked pastries anywhere? We got garlic bread or nothing!
My next seating was a couple who visit us atleast 3 times a week and we ALL hate them! They are old, cheap and lousy tippers. They split meals, which makes me cringe. The day my date takes me out and insists we share a meal is the day I kill myself. Not only are these people cheap they are demanding too, they only want to sit in 6 top booths, they order 2 waters with an even amount of extra lemons, I mean come on 1 of you can't have more than the other? Plus this idiots sit forever! They think nothing of sitting in your booth for 2 hours sipping on water and sharing a cup of soup! Their normal tip is around 2-3 bucks but tonite I got a measly $1.36, go fuck yourself!
The night went to hell from there, if I were to think back on it I would probably spontaneously combust, that's how pissed off I am. It wasn't just my section. Another server told me of a woman who told her she was watching her carbs so would the cook mind hollowing out her bread so she could still order a hoagie and not be cheating on her diet. Where the fuck do these people come from? God I can't wait to get the hell out of this business!