Saturday, October 31, 2009

...mY Speech

I posted the other day about the introductory speech that I have to deliver for my Oral Communications class on Monday, well here it is. Please someone read this and tell me what you think, I could really use some feedback!

Who am I? This question frightens me. I've been trying to find out who I am for many years. This journey of self-discovery has spanned over 3 decades and I think I have identified at least one facet of who I am; I AM a survivor.

The other parts that make me who I am come to me in spurts. Some days I think I know exactly who I am. It is these days that I strive for; I exude confidence, determination, knowledge and gratitude. It is on these days that I remember where I came from, but also WHERE I can go.

On the not so good days my perception of who I am is quite fuzzy. I become moody and withdrawn. These are the days that I allow the demon of my past to wake and manipulate my thoughts and beliefs. The feelings of inadequacy, ugliness, and unworthiness was over me and I become stuck in the monster of what I once was.

A mere 5 years ago I was a dirty, hopeless, fearful junkie. Heroin controlled my every thought; it controlled me physically, emotionally and spiritually. I hated every fiber of my being and would pray to die.

I allowed that drug to destroy me and my family. There is a line in the Narcotics Anonymous text which reads, "We used to live and lived to use". There is no better way to describe a drug addiction. I could not function as a human being without injecting that poison into my veins. I loathed myself for what I was doing not only to myself but to my family as well, and yet I COULD NOT STOP. Daddy's little sugar bear had turned into an abomination, a dirty junkie living on the streets.

I won't go into the gory details but I will tell you this: That girl that was controlled by drugs is not the person you see before you today.

In remembering the hell I survived from, I have come to see who I am.

I am a 31 year old waitress, bound and determined to better myself. The words NO and CAN'T are not in my vocabulary. Against all odds I came back from the brink of death and do not intend on ever going back.

While getting clean, I recognize some goals I could set for myself. The first is to earn my associates degree. I WILL BE A COLLEGE GRADUATE.

I am pursuing a career in the field of medical coding. I WILL EARN MY CODING CERTIFICATE.

In closing I would like to answer a question that was asked of me many years ago: "What contribution would you like to make in our society that you hope will impact our future?"...

I have always secretly dreamed of becoming a published author. I would like one day to turn my story of adversity and strength into a book for others to read. If I could change just one person's destiny, I will have accomplished something.


  1. BRAVA, girl!

    And I mean that!

    It's honest, direct, and clear. No self-pity.

    And what I think is especially great about this, is that you've give your speech a strong beginning, middle, and an end in very few words, and yet it's ALL there.

    I think you're a wonderful writer, and I know that when you do become a published author, your story will most definitely touch and change MORE than one person's destiny!

    Thank you so much for sharing this, my friend!

    P.S. I know you don't have an email address, but if there was some way you could contact me through my address (it's on my blog) I would like to ask you if you would care to be interviewed on my blog. I mean, I don't know if there is a personal reason why you don't have an email address (and I totally respect your reasons), but you can get one for free on google email. If you don't wish to do the interview, that's totally ok. Just let me know if you're interested.

  2. I love it.
    I think it's wonderful.
    Especially if no one knows your history.

    Also, regarding the kitchen and the fridge door- mines on backwards too. I told my husband about it when we bought it and he said "but this is perfect, I can get something out of the fridge without actually going into the kitchen all the way."

    You know, so like it's convenient from the living room but not so much from the kitchen.

    Maybe that's what your building super had in mind...