Friday, November 13, 2009

Stow it Edith

I would like to dedicate this post to the two women I had the pleasure of waiting on last night.

Table 26 I'd like to say... a big fat Fuck you!

These 2 women, who ordered 2 waters and 1 pizza between the two of them, are frequenters of my section (unfortuantely) and last night I had had enough of their crap.

When I brought their pizza to the table, one of them started to complain that the pizza was "really kinda thin". I refrained from telling them that our pizza is a THIN crust, of course unless specified thick; I apologized and asked if I could have them make a new pizza for them. This idea was shot down before I even got it out of my mouth.

If you are going to bitch about something, but then not want anything done about it; Shut the fuck up because I really don't give a shit if your crust is too thin. I am just saying that if you're bitching just to hear your own voice, Don't cause this 'superwaitress' isn't listening anymore!

To prove my point the pizza couldn't have been all that bad, I mean the heifers ate the whole thing!

Tip your servers, we have to deal with a ton of bullshit that we shouldn't have to and apologize for things that are not our fault!


  1. Agreed! I still work in the service industry part time at my friend's italian restaurant. Nothing worse than running your ass off for a table and getting a shitty tip...or not being able to please them, even if you are doing everything perfectly. Some people are just assholes and shouldnt be allowed the pleasure of having a waitress...."get it your damned self!"

  2. Those are the kind of bitches you just want to send Uncle Guido after. You used much more restraint than I would have. Those two waters? Yep, would have straight-up poured them on their heads. Ta-da!

    I will come to your restaurant any time, Superwaitress, and treat you with respect and gratitude and I'll be friendly and complimentary and I'll tip you at least 20%, because that's how I roll.

    Love your blog!!! XO

  3. PS: I've been through the Philadelphia airport twice in the past three months and I've really enjoyed the cool wine bar Vino Volo somewhere in concourse B, I think. Do you know it? Ever been?

  4. I know people who complain like that all the time. I'm so not a people person so I would suck at being a waitress err rather waiter I guess is the correct term. I hated tending the bar cause people would complain all the time. I'd like "do I look like a shrink a to you?" It's hard for me to keep my mouth shut when people complain about lame things like that. I always want to say "well if you think you can do it better go ahead, I won't stop you." XD

  5. just wondering--why do we wish a sexual experience on people we are pissed at? We must come up with something better....

    I have spent most of my adult life in the customer service industry--one way or another. Many times I have wished to be afflicted with momentary Tourette's in order to vent on rude people--and then just go "oops, sorry Tourette's."

  6. To prove my point the pizza couldn't have been all that bad, I mean the heifers ate the whole thing!


    And thank you for venting this, because I get the same complaining shit in retail...

    They:..."I would like to buy this perfume, but I hate the bottle it's in."

    Me:..."BITE ME!"

  7. Haley,
    Well well you work in an italian restaurant too, so you do know what I'm talking about. Yea I am with you screw em and let them get it themselves! We could probably go on for hours telling horror stories, someday I am going to write a book about the biz. I'll definately need your input so keep all those stories coming!

  8. Alix,
    Believe it or not I have lived in PA my whole life and have never been to philly, so I've not had the pleasure of going to the bar you mentioned. If you promise to be good you can "roll" into my section anytime, the compliments and 20% tips are always welcomed!Thanks for stopping by today.

  9. Gavin,
    "well if you think you can do it better go ahead, I won't stop you."

    My sentiments exactly! I actually took my apron off once and handed it to the lady at my table and told her to give it a try! That was at a place I worked at a long time ago, but I will always remember the feeling of satisfaction I got when she turned down my offer!

  10. Ellen,
    Tourettes, yes now there is a disease I wish I had! Not to make fun of people that really do have this, just to be able to get even with some unruly customers! Thank you for coming over to my place today.

  11. Ron,
    Hello buddy! I will store that "Bite me" retort in my brain for the hopefully up and coming last waitress shift ever! What is wrong with people? I actually called off for tonite, not feeling well and don't want to have to wait on assholes tonite! Enjoy the weekend, see you Monday!

  12. hehehe... as usual, your post has me giggling.

    Things have to be pretty bad for me before I'll consider complaining. And if I do; I will be MORE than willing to let the waitress/waiter make adjustments and fix it for me. That, after all, is the purpose of bringing to her/his attention that there is a problem. (POLITELY... I think most people should have failed kindergarten repeatedly until they learned how to be nice)

    You have my sympathy! I haven't worked in retail/service industry for a few years but I still remember how difficult it was, trying to keep everyone happy. You know that saying "You can't please all the people all the time?" Well, you have to TRY in service industries and people sure don't make it easy on you, do they?

    Tell 'em I said they should get stuffed. At someone ELSE's restaurant. ;o)

  13. 'the customer is always right'...what a crock of shit. i used to work in the food service industry and i swear people think the phrase gives them a hall pass to treat people rudely. i say the employee is always right because they are in charge of the food.