Monday, November 30, 2009

Shitting Triangles

I of course have to make a joke about a serious problem I am having as a result of the medicine I must take to remain sober. I'm talking of course about methadone, which I take to be able to function without heroin.

I am grateful to methadone for saving my life and getting me to stop shooting dope but the side effects are gruesome! The biggest problem that methadone or opiate users for that matter, face is severe constipation. I experienced this when I was still using dope but whenever I felt the rumbling feelings of gas bubbles I'd just do another bag and those pesky pains would go away.

I am now not so lucky! There are times when I can't go for days. And I mean days. days. and days. It hurts to say the least.

I was in so much pain that I just couldn't take it anymore and I had to go the emergency room. Let me remind you that I am one of 50 million Americans who is UNINSURED, but I had to go. Talk about being embarrased; I wanted to crawl into a hole and die rather than tell the admitting nurse what brought me in to the hospital. I sucked it up and told and 2 hours later I got to see the doctor. All they could really do for me is give me an enema. Gross. That is all I have to say about that. But I felt better...until I got the bill: $425 for a freakin enema. Seriously you can buy a fleet enema at Rite Aid for about a buck!

I take an array of stomach/bowel meds daily: Miralax, laxatives, stool softners, fiber, fiber, fiber, water and more fiber. Yet I still get debilitating pains. I don't understand it and I can't stand it anymore.

I know that the easiest solution would be to just get off the methadone, but that scares me. What will happen. I am running myself ragged with school full-time and working full-time and I'm just afraid that if I get off meth I'll give in to cravings and exhaustion. That has been my problem every single time I get clean, I get tired and weak and I succumb to the evils of heroin.

For now I guess the best I can do is suck up the pain.


  1. There is nothing worse than constipation. I had it horribly when my ovary was committing suicide and downed multiple bottles of mag citrate and stool softners. I hope this passes for you and your body figures out it needs to poop and lets you! I also say stay on the methadone for now...with all the extra stresses, not pooping is much better than the alternative. praying to the pooping gods for you!

  2. I've only experienced constipation a very few times in my life and it was awful.

    It really affects the totality of how you feel, doesn't it? It makes your whole body feel constipated.

    I don't know if you've ever tried this, but foot reflexology works amazing well for constipation. I'm a certified reflexologist, so if you want, email me and I'll explain how you can use certain reflex points on your feet to assist you. I can also give you the URL address of my alternative health blog, where you'll find a foot map to make it easier to understand.

    Let me know.

    OMG...I almost DIED when you said that the hospital visit fee was $425?!?!?!?!

    Hope you're feeling better today, my friend!

  3. when you are ready to start weaning yourself off the M, it will get better. Until then, you'll cope.

    And lay off the fiber! It's causing all the gas. I tend to get constipated, and I swear the worst thing I can do is take fiber. The gas has no where to go so it just kills my guts.

    I say stock up on mag citrate and enemas. Hide them so you don't look like a freak if anyone looks in your cabinet

  4. Lora hit the nail on the head. And the fiber will cause gas.

  5. doctors just about killed me when I said I wasn't taking that stuff. But I'd rather suffer cold turkey and be the worse company ever for a few days then go through what you just described. XD I hope you get to feeling better soon. (;

  6. I know nothing about the demons you are fighting, but I LOVE the effort you are putting into your sobriety. Congratulations! I was going to mention Miralax (it's my sister's lifesaver), but looks like you already got the goods on that.

    Hang in there. Triangles hurt, but other shapes have more corners.


  7. Aw hell honey, I've never had that specific problem thankfully, but I definitely know how hard it is to be comfortable when the plumbing's not working properly. It definitely sucks, but the pain does mean you're winning at life. Rock on, babe.

  8. Haley,
    That mag citrate stuff is just awful isn't it? How can they get a liquid to taste like salt and sprite is beyond me! Horrible shit, no pun intended! Pray hard, oops did it again! Thanks!

  9. Ron
    Look for me at your email cause anything I can do to help is worth looking in to, thank you! And yep $425 for a routine enema, highway robbery if you ask me!

  10. Lora
    Ha no wonder I am full of bubbles, I had no idea about the fiber thing, thank you! Oh and I'm way ahead of you on hiding the goods, they're hidden in a storage box under my bed, enemas, miralax, stool softeners, hangers? you get the point! Your'e too damn funny, thanks a lot!

  11. PJ
    Point definately taken, laying of the fiber definately, thanks for the advice!

  12. Gavin
    If you're talking about methadone, it's not really all that bad except of course for the constipation. There's another maintance program called suboxone, it might help? Thanks for stopping by!

  13. Alix
    Oh man I can't imagine having to deal with hexagons and octogons! Thanks for the support, not everyone can look at meth with as a positive so thank you for tht!

  14. tiara,
    If that pain means I'm winning where in the hell is my trophy? I could maybe use it as...ok way too much information! But thanks for coming by!

  15. I too am a MMT pt and have the same problem. Have you tried VIADONE? It is made for methadone pts and not only helps with constipation but the sweats and sweet cravings as well. I have heard some MMT clinics sell it, but you can also buy it online. It has helped me greatly! I use to go 5-7 days with no "business" and when I did, it was a very painful and horrifying ordeal. Now I go every day with NO problems.

  16. At Novus Detox we take people off even high doses of methadone and find that getting them hydrated and giving them drinks of CalMag really helps with the constipation.


  17. I was thinking that stars would be the only shapes worse than triangles [GRINS].
    Also gives a whole new meaning to living in the moment.
    I honestly wish I had a constructive suggestion that is superior to those already posted, but all I can add is that it's up to you to do the next right thing.

  18. mmt pt,
    No I haven't heard of VIADONE; I'll have to look into that. My clinic doesn't offer anything but stool softners so I'll have to research it on my own. thanks for the suggestion, I'm at the point that I'd be willing to have my a-hole removed! I'll give it a try!

  19. Steve,
    I don't think just dropping my dose is gonna do much good for me but thanks for the input.

  20. Ivan,
    OMG stars? ouch!!!!!! Thanks for the visual!

  21. meatbag,
    yea I don't really know if a hallucinagenic would really be in my best interest but thanks anyways!

  22. holy shit. pun intended. first off, i am a newer follower so had no idea about the whole heroin thing. kudos to you for kicking it. i can only relate in the smoking arena b/c i have stopped smoking about a billion times and always started back again when i am tired or upset or weak or whatever or when i talk about it. i actually want one now. i am hopeless. so i can't even imagine. but the poop thing i am totally with you. i've got intestinal issues from here to tomorrow. sisters in poop probs unite.

  23. crib,
    hello my sister in poop probs! Thanks for the support over kicking dope, I'm proud but not overly proud of myself, if that makes any sense? anyways I give you a shit load(pun intended) of props for quitting cigarettes! I have absolutely NO desire to quit smoking even though there's a ton of heart problems on both sides of my family and I wake up coughing up colors that shouldn't come from the human body! I'll quit when I am good and ready just like heroin. I didn't quit until I was ready. Thanks for becoming a follower of mine, you are officially a "tiny head" in my evergrowing collection; welcome!