Sunday, January 10, 2010

Happy Birthday to me?

Today my mother is having my birthday dinner. It's not a huge deal or anything but it's nice to be together with my family. This is a tradition for us, everybody gets their favorite meal for their birthday, we all get together and have cake and icecream and have a good time.

I was just told that my grandmother doesn't want to come. She says that it's too cold outside. It's not like she has to stand outside and wait for a bus; I was going to pick her up. This is my mom's mother and this isn't the first time she's disappointed me. My birthday was Thursday; she didn't even call to wish me a Happy Birthday. What's up with that?

Granted since I've gotten older our relationship has changed. When I was a little kid, I used to stay over for sleepovers. I even had a little red suitcase that said "going to grandma's". She used to call me her favorite little person. I used to hide behind the bush in front of her house and make her find me. She used to read the cereal box to me. She was my grandma and I loved her. Things have changed. She has changed. She is a mean old lady.

Before you go gasping here me out. When my pap (her husband of 60 years) was dying she told him she wished he would die. She is the most negative person I have ever come across. She'll talk about her own kids and the neighbors, the milkman, anyone really. She is just mean.

I am 32 years old. I don't need a big extravaganza or lavish presents but it would have been nice to have my grandmother show a little compassion and a little love for her favorite little person.


  1. Getting old must be a bitch. It turns EVERYONE into mean people.

    I'll come to your birthday dinner honey. Just tell me what time and where.

    Happy Happy Birthday. I love ya.

  2. Wow. That's sad. D: Maybe she'll change her mind one day? Anyways...I hope you have a nice time with the rest of your family.

  3. I think a lot of older people start turning inward and take out their frustrations and anger on everyone around them.

    I also have talked to a few people who say that the elderly sometimes start shutting down relationships with people they love because they are embarassed about the way they look or whatever, and sometimes cutting ties is a defense mechanism of the depressed and/or dying. Not saying she's about to kick it, but it seems to be a natural (albiet totally sucky) thing that just happens to people.

    Point is, it's not your fault

  4. As I was reading this I couldn't help but see the similarities in my relationship with one of my grandmothers. I also described her as mean because she was.

    And to once again ditto Lora (who always gives great advice) sometimes elderly people take out their frustrations and anger on those around them. Unfulfilled dreams that have remained dreams sometimes makes people bitter.

    Hope you had a wonderful day celebrating your birthday with the rest of your family.


  5. my mom is your grandma. there isn't anyone she won't bitch about. it's exhausting.

    remind me if i have already asked, but would love to feature you as one of my top blogs of the week. if interested email me at

  6. It's too bad that people so often lash out at those they love, the very people who they should be reaching out to for support and comfort.

    I hope you had a nice birthday dinner, anyway.

  7. Isn't it interesting how family members change as we get older? When we were little kids, we just looked at them all through these innocent, loving eyes... gramma isn't a real person, she's just gramma. She makes cookies and let's me play with her tupperware and when I go home to my parents' house, she's still doing that stuff and that's all. And then you start to get older and you start realizing that all your relatives have personalities. And you realize that you don't always LIKE their personalities. You see how they change over time... how their lives are separate from yours and full of factors that make them who they are. It's sad when that bubble bursts... sometimes it would be nice to stay naive. I'm sorry your gramma isn't there for you, but for a moment at the party, close your eyes and pretend she's there - not the gramma she is now, but the one she WAS. That's the one you deserve to show up at your party - nothing less.

  8. edamame is soy beans. they look like peas, sort of, and taste like heaven. they are probably my favorite food. especially when they have sea salt on them.

    do you have a trader joes? they have great frozen ones (get the ones with the shells in the blue and yellow bag) and they are only like $3 for a pound