I want to talk about how much I hate waiting on kids, toddlers, children, gremlins, babies etc. The other night I let out a sigh of disgust as I watched a family of 4 small children being sat in my section.
Yep you're right; I am prejudice. I HATE kids. No, I do not give you the benefit of the doubt; I judge you and your kids before I even approach your table.
I am bias I know, but after 17 years of cleaning up puke, throwing way tons of soggy sugar packets, and having my eardrums explode out of the side of my head I feel as though I am entitled to my hatred of ankle bitting toddlers.
Case in point:
As I am trying to take the order from the ADULT at the table, this whiny, snot-nosed little brat screams at me "hey lady". What? Are you f...ing kidding me, have some respect for your elders kid, I am here to make sure your stupid chicken fingers get here for you to shove into your face hole.
I am NOT one of those waitresses that dote over your "cute" offspring. Personally I don't think its so special that little Janey lost her tooth. Big fucking deal--we all lose teeth. Show me something truly spectacular like an olympic medal or your degree from brain surgery school or something.
While I'm at it, your precious newborn isn't all the cute. Frankly, she's quite ugly; she looks like an alien. Her skin is all wrinkly, her ears stick out from her big bald head and she's got a bad case of cradle cap, eww her head skin is fluffing off onto the table! Get her outta here or atleast put her back in that devise that took you an hour to get out of the car and lets say we get down to business:
Would you like soup or salad with your chicken parm?